Out on the Limb

Once Upon a Time

2010-09-27T16:46:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, a casual coffee-house acquaintance visited my blog collection and said to me later,
"I don't get it. I don't understand what's with all those blogs... how do they connect?"

Ummm. My answer is, "However you wish them to connect!"

If you are looking for cookie-cutter, go to a mall, or what passes for a street fair these days (aka, outdoor mall).

I believe in non-homogenous diversity, just as Nature teaches.

I see how things are "supposed to be done" according to Marketing skills.
And I resist. So there.

Those Negative Waves

2010-01-04T11:32:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, folks!

A woof of sanity in a world gone insane. :)

Barefoot

2009-10-09T11:51:00.000-07:00

It took awhile, but it finally occurred to my avatar, Sanddragon, that there is no harm in walking around barefoot in Second Life. Look how my toes are holding onto each other for emotional support because they aren't used to being free! :D

My iGoogle Turtle

2009-09-16T19:03:00.000-07:00

I suspected it would come to this. I'm completely enamored with my new iGoggle page. A friend mentioned how addicted he is to personalizing his iGoogle page. I said, "What?... Really? I never had much of an interest in personalizing a page of news, weather, etc." Then he told me about some of the goodies he has on his page.

So now I have an iGoggle turtle that I feed every time I go to iG. When I leave him food, he swings around and heads for the tidbit. Naturally, I always force the poor turtle to make the turn-around. I love the way his head quickly snaps forward to get his snack. I suppose I'll have to name him soon.

Maybe I've finally reached information overload. As did many others, I read and enjoyed Alvin Toffler's "Future Shock" years ago. Most recently, I read "Past Shock" by Jack Barranger and found it intellectually stimulating and... yes, a bit of a shock. I'm still rolling his concepts over in my mind.

What have you been reading lately?

Daily Bread

2009-08-26T20:42:00.000-07:00

This morning I went to a coffeehouse that I don't normally frequent. I lugged along my new laptop, which I have named Master Po. Go ahead... ask me!

The coffeehouse, which shall remain unnamed, used to have free wifi service. But no longer.
"What happened?" I asked Joan as she rang a buck 60 on the register.
"People were complaining about the limited number of electrical outlets," she said.
"That reminds me of the time I set out a bowl of jellybeans every morning for my co-workers," I mused.

Not just any jellybeans, either. They were those beans with oh so many addictive flavors begging to be eaten and savored and... Ummm, Where was I? Oh, yeah. One year during a holiday season, I set out a bowl of jellybeans for my co-workers and I just kept going for awhile. Every morning, out would come the treats in a tiny bowl for tiny beans. At first people were polite, and there were no problems. A few weeks into the experiment, I started getting requests for certain flavors; but I just continued putting out the usual mix. After a couple of months, I noticed that the bowl would get raided shortly after I retreated to my cubicle. People were grabbing their favorites (to save for lunchtime maybe) before somebody else got to 'em first! After that, I began skipping days here and there. I didn't skip too many days because I wanted the experiment, and their addiction to the beans, to continue. Working in a cubicle for a decade can do this to a person. I'm not proud of it, but... heh, that's how it was.

On days that I missed, some people who felt special would come and ask me if I had any jellybeans in my desk! In all fairness, I did get some donations once in awhile. The donations usually came from the less greedy and bold. The experiment ended when someone actually raided my desk drawer for the damn things.

So why did the coffeehouse electrical outlet shortage remind me of the jellybean experiment? Because...

...people are always looking at what the person next to them has. If Beanie Boy wants what Billy Bob has, then Beanie Boy will try to find a way to get same; and if he can't there is dissatisfaction which can lead to complaint, deception, or any number of negativities depending on the situation and the degree of Beanie Boy's affliction. It makes no difference if the object of attraction is a free service or item. It's a question of gratitude (or lack thereof). With both the jellybeans and electrical outlets, many people would rather think "Heh, why can't I have that, too" instead of "Oh, it's not available right now? OK, I'll come back later. Thank you for providing it".

We become what we think. Forget what the person next to you has. What do you have? Have you thanked your daily bread today?

And did you name your laptop? (just curious)

You're Fired !

2009-08-21T15:43:00.000-07:00

About 3 weeks ago, I got fired and hired in the same week. Actually, the hiring part came first with a local business owner. So far, I absolutely love my new job. It's versatile, and has a lot of potential for creativity and much-needed funds. I get to use my computer skills with the new job with flexible hours and no official office to report in at. Yippee!

But the old job. Oh, boy. That one was easily in the top 5 all-time worst jobs I've ever had. I was a "service provider" for a mother-daughter team who, due to health reasons, needed help with various tasks around their home and with errands. Although I was called a "service provider" by the people who paid me (the County of San Diego), the duo I spent slaving for treated me like a... well, slave. AND I had to wear an apron and listen to Andy Griffith repeats every day! haha

I always seemed to be cutting their vegetables too small or too large... and couldn't seem to hand-squeeze enough juice out of their oranges even tho the inside of the orange had the texture of a basketball when I was done with them. Their list of things to do was not in touch with reality, but I gave it my best shot anyway. Oops!...not good enough. They were big believers in hand-washing. If any article of clothing got washed in a machine (gasp) it most certainly had to be brought back wet to hang dry. They had dust phobias and germ phobias, and my hands were suffering from having to wear latex gloves. They had nothing good to say about their neighbors and lacked gratitude for the extra care I took to provide quality service. No wonder they are sick.

One day, I told the slave-drivers that I was no longer willing to get in the backseat of their over-stuffed car with the unsecured (no strap-down) and unprotected (no safety brackets) oxygen tanks that were bouncing around in a metal basket! The daughter drove like a bat out of hell. You know the type... always late for appointments and aggressively pushing her way through traffic (a weaver bird) at criminal speeds. Anyway, my refusal to continue to risk my life for $9.20 per hour was the end of that misery. :D

Good riddance nastiness! Hello, new job. Thank you, life, for the lessons.

What was the worst job you ever had?

Top Dog

2008-08-31T18:25:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday, I posted about the hazards and excesses of hunting (see The K Chromosome) on my Sand Dragon Green blog.

Today, I have been delving into the Darwin Awards for my, albeit warped, sense of humor. I come across a jewel titled "Boner".

Assuming you've read the link about bone-head boner, here are my comments:

#1 - It's a stinkin' bone the dog grabbed as opposed to a fresh kill. That tells me this story is about control and who is master.
#2 - I find myself wondering what this man's family life was like (if he had one).
#3 - Good doggie!
#4 - Good man for confirming, truthfully, the tragic events before he died.

The End

Meet Brutus

2008-08-29T16:46:00.000-07:00

One of my sons is visiting from Tucson, Arizona.

He brought his new buddy, Brutus, with him.

Brutus is now eight weeks old.....and growing!
He exhausted himself at the dog beach today, enjoying every minute making friends and dodging waves.

Still Here

2008-08-02T18:33:00.000-07:00

So. I haven't posted here since mid-February. It appears I needed a break.

Here's a brief run-down of the last few months.

In March I had a roommate. He was polite and clean, including keeping our shared bathroom in excellent shape. I knew him for two years and did not feel threatened by his presence. His girlfriend, however, was a nut case and I absolutely had no patience for the drama. It's always something... Anyway, he decided to move back to India and so only rented the room one month.

Both in February and in March I applied for two different positions (one volunteer and one paying) at the Medicine Buddha retreat in northern California. No go. Can't even get a volunteer "job"! I also re-explore the ideas of volunteering in Nepal or Belize, but funds are low and I just don't feel I should uproot myself yet again. Thankfully, I get a part-time job at a yoga studio nearby for 15 hours per week. I can still eat.

In April my oldest son had a horrible motorcycle accident. Without divulging all the gory details, the good news is that he recovered remarkably well and is walking again. He had no injuries to his head or internal organs. He was very very fortunate in a number of ways, including the fact that the ambulance was on its way back from the hospital when they got the call, and happened to be very close to the scene. The police treated the scene as a fatality, nevertheless, because they just didn't expect him to live.

In May I began packing my bags. My lease had expired and my part-time job isn't covering living expenses. I also thought my recovering son could use my help. At his invitation, I moved in with two of three sons.

In June I shifted gears and organized my little corner of the apartment.

In July, an application I put in at a local new-age bookstore/gift shop looks hopeful for late August.

Currently, I'm still applying for various retail jobs. Also, I'm devouring books on Shamanism.
So that's where I'm at. Still in limbo, but feeling a bit more hopeful in spite of the current economic, environmental, and political mess we continue to endure.

Captivity

2008-01-30T13:51:00.000-08:00

Quote of the Day:
"The only animals that get old are the ones in captivity."

Spoken by Ray Mendez, one of the characters in the movie, "Fast, Cheap & Out of Control"
I highly recommend watching this movie, especially if you like Zen.

PS - Are you alive?

Perfect Day

2008-01-07T20:52:00.001-08:00

Perfect Day
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

I can clearly remember one of the most perfect days of my life.

I was not yet three years old. I was at the beach with my family and friends, and I took a nap holding the hand of a loved one my age.

I remember the warm sun stroking my skin...the sound of the waves, and the gentle salty breeze in my nostrils. I remember the soft sand in my toes and fingers. And, most of all, I remember love. Love of Earth. Love of Friends and Family. Love of Being. Love. Limitless Love.

I now spend my whole life trying to recreate that day.

Think of it. I had fire (sun) wind (breeze) earth (sand) and water (ocean waves)...and love. My life was complete.

Pooh's Tao

2007-12-31T13:39:00.001-08:00

Pooh's Tao
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

I've been reading "The Tao of Pooh" which I recently took with me to the coffee shop. My friend, who has a PoohBear-like appearance, exclaimed in his usual jubilant manner, "I have that book, too!"

This friend is an excellent guitar player. He enjoys describing various chords and such to me as he is playing, although he knows I am musically illiterate. I get the feeling he is simply talking out loud without actually trying to teach me to be musical.

After a few minutes of listening to him play and talk gibberish this morning, I asked him: "Since you are so involved and knowledgeable about sound, I wonder what your thoughts are on the old question of whether a falling tree makes a sound in the forest if no-one is there."

Without hesitation, and without looking up from his chubby fingers stroking the guitar, he said "There is no forest."

And so, now I am wondering.... what would Pooh say?
What do you think? And do all my questions make me an owl?

Arches National Park

2007-11-17T12:57:00.001-08:00

Arches National Park
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 16 of the journey

Easter Sunday morning at Arches National Park near Moab, Utah

What a beautiful place! I could spend a lifetime exploring this region. The natural sandstone sculptures really come alive. We spend a couple of hours in the morning hiking and driving through the park.

With the Rockies looming east of us, we drove due south from Moab, Utah, on Hwy 191 to Interstate 40, and then due east stopping for the night in Gallup, New Mexico. We ended up having tasteless fast food as most places in Gallup were closed for Easter Sunday. All-in-all it was a pleasant day.

Observations

2007-10-31T19:17:00.000-07:00

Observation #1)
We have a skipper in the neighborhood. I've seen her skip by twice during my morning coffee social hour. She never fails to make people smile as she skips by, and she looks pretty happy herself. I have the strong urge to shout "wait!...wait!......I'll join you" as she breezes past our table. And she is a much more vigorous skipper than the commuters shown in this clip:

-----------------------
Observation #2)
Regarding arson investigations in Orange County, California, I read this:

"Authorities are investigating hundreds of leads, including a report of a white pickup truck seen in the area where the Orange County fire started."

Reading about the "white pickup truck" triggered memories of my southbound California road trip last Spring (on rural roads east of I-5).

I don't want to rain on the parade of fire investigators, but white pickup trucks outnumbered all other types and colors of vehicles by a long-shot. I know, because I became obsessed with counting them and trying to figure out the reason for this against-the-odds fact. White pickups dominate rural California. So, of course someone saw one in an area where a fire started!! Duh!

So what's the reason? Is some kind of white guy redneck statement being made? White reflects heat better than dark colors. Maybe that's it. Or maybe the nearest dealerships have limited inventories. Perhaps many of the trucks are company owned and they all wanted "good guy" white fleets.

I don't know, but they sure are popular. So popular, in fact, that I'm providing you with the template to make your very own white pickup.

IHF - International Humanity Foundation

2007-10-28T19:49:00.000-07:00

I saw an ad in the "Volunteer" section of Craigslist this evening. A non-profit grassroots organization called International Humanity Foundation (IHF) needs help. Lots of organizations need help.

We're inundated with requests on a regular basis...right?

IHF really caught my attention. In particular is the spirit of determination of IHF founder Carol Sasaki. She is such an inspiration! Her story is amazing, but I'm only finding bits and pieces. It would be nice to see a more detailed bio online somewhere. Also, I am impressed with the fact that IHF keeps politics and religion out of policy while simultaneously respecting the various religions of those they serve.

So, I dug deeper and came across this detailed and heartfelt story by volunteer Dan Grays about his trip to Kenya and Indonesia. And I browsed through the photos of the orphans (posted on the main IHF site). One of the reasons I'm taking the time to investigate IHF is that they don't charge people to volunteer, like so many other non-profits I have encountered. [*see note below].

Bonus for me: IHF is based in San Diego. It sounds like they really need our help. Carol Sasaki, the founder, posted this urgent request last July:

The children and communities I have met have become my own family, and I have given everything I can to help them, including selling my homes to raise funds to provide a home and an education for others. I have given many children a place to call home, because I choose to sleep in my car instead. It is worth it, and you would do the same if you personally knew the children and their communities the way I do. But despite my efforts, these children may now still go homeless.

(read her whole letter here)

Please help, if you can.
---------------------------------
The IHF ad in Craigslist states volunteers would need to cover the following costs:
- $55 application fee
- US $20 a week for international volunteers.
-Roundtrip Airfare
-Extra meals one might want that aren't provided
-Extra transportation if desired
-Travel Insurance

Salt Lake to Moab

2007-10-28T13:55:00.000-07:00

Day 15 of journey, cont'd (it's Saturday, Easter weekend, 4-7-07)

After "the incident", we get off Hwy 15 South and head east on Rt 6. Within minutes, we find a riverside park where we stop and slap together some cold cuts on bread. As you can see, it was another blue-sky pleasant Spring day.

We take Rt 6E to Hwy 191S. Somewhere along this route we came across a gas station selling biodiesel! Who would have thought.

We've set our sights on staying the night in Moab, Utah. Little did we know that the televised annual Moab Easter Jeep Safari was in full swing. The town was packed with hundreds of jeeps, and it took us some effort to find a room. The room we got was musty and waaayy over-priced (most expensive dive of my whole trip); and the owner was pleased to tell me he is originally from my neighborhood in San Diego. Scumbag.

It was amusing to me to drive amongst all the Jeepsters with my little biodiesel baby VW! It's nice for people to have fun outdoors, but somehow I don't think this crowd gives a rats ass about "nature". Two issues from my viewpoint: Fuel and Environment

We went to get dinner early while the majority of folks were still playing in the back country. Dinner was excellent at Moab Brewery. The chili was almost the best ever coming in at a close 2nd to a small downtown restaurant in Prescott, Arizona. The cornbread was melt-in-mouth moist and spicy. Yummmm!

Those of us eating on the patio got a good laugh when a jeep zoomed into the parking lot with an elderly women hanging on without seating in the jeep's rear bed. Someone told a mother-in-law joke, and we were all off and running. I laughed 'till I cried, partly as release from the stress of the day, and the beer didn't hurt either.

:D
I looked up a mother-in-law joke for y'all and discovered this:
"I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "mother-in-law" you get the words "woman Hitler".

Oh My God!!!

2007-10-27T16:23:00.001-07:00

traffic report
Originally uploaded by Briebanofsky

Day 15 cont'd (the journey)

This day turned out to be quite memorable as in "harrowing".

Before I tell the story, let's backtrack a week to a particularly frightening nightmare. Here's what happened in my dream:

I was standing alone. A figure in all black was approaching me and I was gripped with intense fear. "Who are you?", I asked. The figure continued to get closer. "Who are you? Who are you?? WHO ARE YOU???", I demanded. I knew, though, that this was death personified. I was in full panic as the figure in black was so close I could feel a soft deathly exhale on my cheek. Then, suddenly, the figure turned around and began to drift away. It was now all white. I woke up sobbing.

Fast forward to my freeway experience in Salt Lake City. It's the weekend and traffic is moderate. There are five lanes traveling in each direction, and I'm in the middle southbound lane. I had been following a motorcycle for many miles as he and I maintained the same speed. At one point I had the sudden thought that I should not be following that motorcycle. I dismissed my thought as foolishness, but in retrospect it was my instinctive voice trying to give me warning.

A car slipped into the generous space I had provided between the motorcycle and me. I'm one of those drivers....I really really like enough space to brake if necessary; and so I slowed down to 70 to create some space. Most traffic was traveling at 75 or 80 which seems to be the norm now everywhere unless bottlenecks prevent.

Anyway, now there is a car between me and the motorcycle, but not for long. When the car changed lanes, my brain snapped to emergency mode as I realized the motorcycle was stopping. Rough guess is that he was down to 20 MPH when the car blocking my view changed lanes. All I had time to do was brake as hard as I possibly could without losing control. It was not possible to change lanes; and even if I had, the car behind me would have nailed the poor guy.

The motorcycle came to a halt, and I screeched in behind him just a few inches away. Two lanes of traffic on either side are flying by; and as I check my rear view mirror I see that another small car has managed to come to a halt directly behind me. "Good", I thought....."now if we get hit, I have a slightly better chance of surviving."

My hands are tight on the steering wheel and I'm shouting "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" The motorcyclist is fiddling with his bike and miraculously gets it started. (reserve gas tank?...I don't know) We're saved! I head to the next exit and drive to an empty parking lot where I feel I might throw up....no, wait....I'm going to pass out....no, not yet, it's time to cry.

Even before I exited the freeway for my breakdown, I remembered the dream and knew that death had just paid me a visit and decided to let me live another day.
---------------------------
Thank you, Briebanofsky, for making this picture available thru the CC license. I love your "Expression" set. Very nice!

Pedros Cycling

2007-10-27T14:48:00.001-07:00

Pedros Cycling
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 15 of the Journey
Saturday 4-7-07 AM

While having breakfast in Burley, Idaho, I kept admiring the Pedro's cycling van and trailer. Now that I've seen their website, I'm even more impressed with their commitment to a healthy environment. For example, Pedro's sells a bicycle seat bag made from recycled bicycle inner tubes.

Before leaving town, I met a man in the hotel lobby who was taking his newly-arrived stateside military son home. His homecoming would be a surprise to the young man's mother. As it turns out, "home" was in North Carolina! We discussed our planned routes. I was dropping south to avoid winter weather. He was staying north to make better time (he thought). In typical male fashion, he proceeded to tell me I was making a terrible mistake. He was wrong about the weather; but he was right (in a wrong kinda way) that my choice to head south could be hazardous. See next post.

Thousand Springs Scenic Drive

2007-10-27T12:29:00.000-07:00

Journey cont'd / Day 14 on 4-6-07

After our stop in Boise, we took the Thousand Springs Scenic Drive. Although the canyon was beautiful, it was still disturbing to see pictures of "then" and "now". The springs (below left) are also know as the lost rivers and have a peculiar and unique geology. Twin Falls (below, right) is permanently missing a Twin due to construction of a dam.

I took this same scenic route on my return trip in June at the height of farmland irrigation practices. The water was reduced to a mere trickle in June having been diverted to the crops. I didn't even bother to stop and take a picture. It was an obvious reminder of how much beauty we sacrifice to keep our ever-growing population fed.

Idaho did a pretty poor job of posting tourist signs along this route, a perception I confirmed upon my return weeks later. Still, we had fun. Who doesn't love waterfalls?

End of day lands us in Burley, Idaho just off the interstate. The cheaper motels in town looked like crack houses. I imagine there is an attractive section of Burley, but I didn't see it. Even the recommended "best pizza in town" was dull and lifeless.

Eastern Oregon

2007-10-27T10:41:00.000-07:00

Journey continued / cross-country drive in Spring 2007
Day 14, Friday 4-6-07

We're on the road at daybreak to watch the sun play with the mountains.

Today's drive was primarily over scenic country roads, the first of which was Hwy 30 (part of the Elkhorn Drive Scenic Byway) leading from North Powder to Baker City, Oregon. The two pictures above were taken in Haines, aka "the biggest little town in Oregon" and home of Chandler Cabin built in 1861.

We enjoy a slow drive, partly because we need to pick up a package in Boise, Idaho, and don't want to arrive at the post office too early. By mid-day our errand into downtown Boise is done. Traffic was not a problem in Boise and we still have the entire afternoon ahead of us. I get out the maps and begin planning our next scenic route.

UP

2007-10-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

The family prayer.
(sign made by great-grandfather)

UP and not DOWN
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

The Aftermath

2007-10-26T12:33:00.001-07:00

Goat
Originally uploaded by rselph

Now that the immediate threat of fire is over for most of us, I am hearing stories of woe.

Today I spoke with a woman whose close friends had to leave their 60 goats behind when they evacuated. Upon their return, they found 54 had perished in the fire, and the remaining six had to be put down due to severe burns. The husband is suffering nightmares from the trauma of it all. I imagine many others are in similar anguish. So sorry for your pain....

We aren't all out of the woods yet with the fires either. Blogger Barboni is tracking a fire 15 miles from his home. Barboni does a super job with mapping and keeping us informed. Thank you....wishing you well.

Keep sending positive thoughts and love, folks!
------------------
Thanks, also, to rselph for providing the picture via a Creative Commons license. I'm not sure if rselph lives in SanFran or SanD. Either way, I hope he has stayed out of harms way as well.

Update

2007-10-24T16:07:00.000-07:00

This morning's walk to the coffee shop was with light ash falling on my head from the surrounding fires. It was nice to see a fire crew washing down their truck at the local station. A big THANKS to our fearless firefighters.

Today's concern was mostly with the threat to our electrical grid. I've heard the lines connecting us eastward with Arizona are repaired. Our connections thru LA are still at risk, I think, with the Pendleton fires.

My sons and I are well. Thanks for those who sent messages of concern. My heart goes to my many not-so-fortunate San Diego County neighbors and beyond. Hugs to all.
Deb

New Poomacha Fire

2007-10-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

I'm just getting my bearings this morning after a fitful night's sleep.

First online stop for me was Bruce Henderson at "And Still I Persist". I knew this U.S. Marine (no longer active) would still be on the job with his great maps and forecasts. Unfortunately, his own home is in the path of the new Poomacha Fire. Please keep him and his family in your thoughts today. This guy is doing so much to help others. Thanks, Bruce.

There seems to be no immediate danger to my location, so I'm going to pop over to the coffee shop to hear what others have to say. Then I'll catch up to the status of other bloggers and see what I can do today to help. What a mess.

Update re Univ/Fairmount

2007-10-23T02:57:00.001-07:00

It's 3:00 AM - OK, I see more smoke and less orange glow now. That's a good thing, right? Doesn't seem to be getting closer or larger. Back to bed. Really.

For those of you who don't have a bed anymore, I'll help you when I find you. Be well.

Smell of Smoke

2007-10-23T02:21:00.000-07:00

It's 2:20 AM. I woke up 20 minutes ago to the smell of smoke, so I got up and turned on the computer.

There is a structure/grass fire at the intersection of University Ave and Fairmount Ave reported at the main CHP (California Highway Patrol) website. That fire was reported at 1:22 AM. That's several blocks from me. Hopefully, they got that one out. It is certainly not part of the main Harris or Witch Creek fires.

I can see an ominous orange glow in the far distance southeast of my place. That would be the Harris fire, I guess.
Well, back to bed. No...wait. I just looked out the window again. That orange glow has increased and has plenty of smoke with it now. It must be the Univ/Fairmount report.

Fire Links

2007-10-22T17:01:00.001-07:00

San Diego Sunset
Originally uploaded
by sand dragon

I'm passing along some useful links for info gathering re San Diego County fires:

Blogger "And Still I Persist" does a great job with logistics, unusual maps, and pictures. He's keeping us very up-to-date. Thanks, Bruce; you're a gem.

Also, see blogger "And Bedlam is Dreaming of Rain" who has listed several helpful news links and commentary.

Plenty of local help is being offered at the Craig's List forum and community pages.

I'm a big fan of maps: traffic and fire

Helpful phone numbers:

fire info at 619-570-1070
emergency hotel lodging assistance at 800-918-4182

I'm located a mile or two due south of the Qualcom stadium evac center (currently in a safe zone). "Last Blog on Earth" reports:

"Eric Wolff’s been hanging out at Qualcomm Stadium all day, talking to evacuees. He said that no one he’s talked to has fire insurance and tables set up by the various insurance companies are virtually empty. A spokesperson for the mayor estimates that there’s 3,500 people at Qualcomm right now, only about one-third the 10,000 person capacity (for sleeping, not game watching, of course). Eric says people are pitching tents in the courtyard and officials are asking for donations of cots, sleeping bags, pillows and blankets. There’s no shortage of food, however."

The sun is setting now, and the blanket of crud has become more visible. Best wishes to all my San Diego neighbors. Stay safe.

Don't Confuse the Finger for the Moon

2007-10-21T21:05:00.001-07:00

The process I experienced and describe in my post "The Eye" (below) is also known as "skillful means" in Buddhist terms.

From Buddhanet's "Four Noble Truths":

The path is a process to help you remove or move beyond the conditioned responses that obscure your true nature. In this sense the Path is ultimately about unlearning rather than learning - another paradox. We learn so we can unlearn and uncover. The Buddha called his teaching a Raft. To cross a turbulent river we may need to build a raft. When built, we single-mindedly and with great energy make our way across. Once across we don't need to cart the raft around with us. In other words don't cling to anything including the teachings. However, make sure you use them before you let them go. It's no use knowing everything about the raft and not getting on. The teachings are tools not dogma. The teachings are Upaya, which means skillful means or expedient method. It is fingers pointing at the moon - don't confuse the finger for the moon.

The Eye

2007-10-21T20:21:00.001-07:00

The Eye
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

This was my first attempt at making an Appalachian basket with the traditional "God's Eye" pattern binding the handle to the ribs. I started this basket a couple of weeks ago at one of my floral society classes. I did not...and will not...finish the basket. I've never liked baskets with large handles because they don't store well. I don't know why I set this one up that way, except that's what I had on hand at the time to work with. It was good enough for me to learn the technique.

I've learned something else in recent weeks. Unless I plan on becoming a kept woman (which I don't; price is too high)...earning my living by making crafts...any crafts...will be subsistence living at its best.

I've experienced yet another series of ups and downs these last few weeks including moderate-to-severe depression, constant anxiety, feelings of worthlessness and confusion...and so forth. I realized that I was feeling stuck. No longer did I feel I was "in transition" as I like to tell people since my grand departure 1-1/2 years ago from life-as-I-knew-it in Washington State.

Nope. Forget transition. I had become "hopelessly stuck in the mud"...or so I thought.

I had a significant dream last night. By the way, I always know which dreams are messages from my subconscious. Without fail, significant "heads up" dreams always include water; and all my other dream types (playful fantasy or unrealistic fears, as examples) don't. Anyway, the dream went like this:
--------------------------
I was in a swamp slogging through mud which came up to my knees. The going was rough and slow. I felt frustrated and angry at myself and very lost. [switch to me viewing myself from above] I observe where I had strayed from the path by the beach into the muddy swamp some distance back. "I took a wrong turn" I grumbled to myself. "Now I'm stuck in the mud and I don't know how I'm ever going to make it out of here."

From my other-self aerial vantage point, I could see the beach in the distance with a gentle surf beckoning. I see there is a series of vines hanging in the air between my muddy self below and the calm beach. [end of aerial view; return to self in swamp]

I look up and grab hold of one vine and swing myself with ease to the next...and the next...towards the beach. Yeah, it was fun! [end of dream]
-------------------------
And then I woke up. And all was clear. I have been interested in making crafts (weaving being my latest love) since childhood. I have been gritting my teeth with determination for over a year now, learning things here and there, plotting and planning, and trying to figure out how I'm ever going to pay the bills doing what I love. I thought this was what I was meant to do and had to make it work somehow. I worked myself into a dither. In fact, I was on the couch with a severe migraine for most of this last week.

The thing is, I love doing lots of things; and crafts weren't my only childhood dream. I've been trying (yet again) to force a square peg into a round hole. Earning money with crafts might have worked well in the past assuming I had a supportive husband (for example), but I'm in a different situation now.

The beauty of the dream was the reminder to LOOK UP and remember I'm only as stuck as I think I am. I was thinking of the mud because I was focused on the mud. I can now widen my view. A cool and relaxing breeze is blowing through my mind. I have opened myself up to other choices with confidence. I don't have to give up my crafts, but they don't solely define my talents and interests either.

When the time is right, I'll let you know where the vines take me. I'd really hate to put "my plans" in black and white and start struggling with that stupid square peg again.

Be well, y'all.

Greg 21

2007-10-21T19:47:00.001-07:00

Greg 21
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Happy Birthday, Greg!

This is a not-so-good picture of Greg, my youngest son. This recent picture wasn't actually taken on his birthday, which was a few days ago. In this picture, he just returned from the airport after working long hours with little sleep. Still has that great smile, though!

Life is Strange

2007-10-04T18:06:00.000-07:00

A few minutes ago, for no particular reason other than being bored, I googled "hunting accident" in the news. I haven't a clue what prompted me to choose those words, but the results shocked me.

A man from my small home town of New Smyrna Beach, Florida, was involved in a drama that defies my imagination.

Father Kills Son in Apparent Hunting Accident

The son was the age of my youngest; and the father's name sounded familiar so I got out my High School yearbook. Yep, Wilson (aka Buddy) was in my graduating class. I knew him, but not well. What an unspeakably tragic loss.

Hilarious

2007-09-27T17:06:00.000-07:00

thanks to Blue Gal

North Powder

2007-09-24T18:38:00.001-07:00

oregon trail
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 13, eastbound 4-5-07
journey cont'd

Our first night eastbound was spent in North Powder, Oregon. We stopped here because, well....I liked the name. (Estimated population in 2003 was 488). We have turned away from the Columbia River and are heading south at the moment.

I was encouraged to find a clean, reasonable family-owned motel. They charged $37 for 2 queen beds. I take this as a sign that we will continue to find decent lodging off-the-beaten-path throughout the U.S. Boy, was I ever wrong!

We take a pleasant walk through town and visit a couple of historic sites: North Powder's first jail, an old wagon, and those lovingly-built monolithic stone buildings. Little did I know how weary I would become two months hence of seeing old pioneer wagons; but I'm sure I wasn't near as weary of seeing them as the pioneers were!

Day 13

2007-09-19T18:06:00.001-07:00

Passing Through
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

....begins the 2nd leg of my long journey in the Spring of 2007.
It is Thursday, April 5th 2007

Leg 1 - San Diego, California TO Darrington, Washington (see previous posts)
Leg 2 - Darrington, WA TO Burnsville (Celo), North Carolina
Leg 3 - Burnsville, NC TO Port Orange, Florida
Leg 4 - Port Orange, FL TO Darrington, WA
Leg 5 - Darrington, WA TO San Diego, CA

We left Mike's at 5:30 AM to beat the rush-hour traffic in Seattle. We breezed with the greatest of ease through Seattle, Tacoma, and Olympia, Washington. I was amazed with our good luck. "This is an omen!" I thought to myself, as my passenger snored through most of the morning.

Bypassing Portland, Oregon, we head eastbound up the Columbia River on the Oregon side, stopping for lunch in beautiful Hood River, wind surfing capital of the world (they tell me).

My excitement runs high as I fantasize about the many new experiences that await me in my new (temporary) home in North Carolina. I'm due to arrive at the herb garden on April 18th....so we have plenty of time to enjoy our cross-country trip. I struggle to put my "future" thoughts aside so that I can enjoy and experience the present.

Wagons East!!!

Deep Fried Liberty

2007-09-14T17:43:00.001-07:00

deep fried liberty
Originally uploaded by Andrew Huff

Go ahead....get goofy!! It's Friday!

Resting in Washington

2007-09-13T15:27:00.000-07:00

Continued journey story-telling - Days 8 thru 12...

...were spent resting in Darrington, Washington. It was cold, and rainy. No surprise there. I visited a local coffee shop that I recalled had a computer available for patrons, but it was broken. "We have WiFi!", the gal told me brightly. This was a phrase I would hear repeatedly on my trip cross-country and back. Convenient internet cafes with PC's have come and gone, for the most part. Without a lap-top, travelers are pretty much SOL now, which is why a Spring journey is being told in Fall.

I also had a problem getting a decent cup of coffee at this once favorite coffeehouse. Putting on a pot of drip coffee was only done upon customer request, necessitating a 10 minute or so wait. Waiting was not a problem for me, so I went daily and made my request. So far, so good. But the shop owner wasn't too keen on wasting the remainder of the pot. That's my guess, because she began strongly suggesting I try "Americana" coffee (a shot of espresso with hot water). I didn't like the taste or texture, and I tried it two days in a row to be sure. I still like my REAL coffee.

I spent the few days in my old neighborhood reviewing my survival supplies:
candles - check
instant foods - check
gloves - check
portable toilet - check
....and so on...

I needed work boots and found a perfect pair at the thrift store for $2. I also purchased a hooded sweat-shirt and a summer pair of gardening gloves.

We would be back on the road Thursday, 4-5-07. On Wednesday, as my anticipation reached full height, it snowed big fat flakes. It was a welcome, lovely sight:

Reshuffling

2007-09-12T14:16:00.000-07:00

I've been a whirlwind of activity lately reshuffling my blogs and links.

This blog has a serious format problem on IE. Limb looks great on Firefox (which I use); but on Internet Explorer....my main posts drop several feet below sea level. Can anyone help me fix this? I'm clueless.

I started a new political blog to support Dennis Kucinich for President over at Blogcharm. Sorry, Blogger. My mistake. Now I'm moving all my political posts back over to my Blogger Sense of Urgency even though I have a lot of work to do there. Please excuse the mess. I switched to a 3-column format recently and lost my profile, among other things.

My green blog, Sand Dragon, has been re-activated. I cannot focus on politics without also addressing our massive environmental problems, and vice versa. These two topics are Siamese twins, and least in this decade.

Out on the Limb remains my pressure cooker safety valve. Thanks for hanging out here with me!

San Juan Sunset

2007-09-10T18:52:00.000-07:00

I just discovered I have video upload capabilities on Blogger. Thanks, Blogger!
So I thought I would treat y'all to a beautiful sunset on San Juan Island, Washington State.
This was taken from a trail near Royal Marine Camp. It was Young Hill Trail, and we passed the cemetery about half way up. The trail isn't well marked and also is not noted on most tourist maps. Ask the locals how to get to the trailhead if you are interested. It's a favorite with them.

Leg One Done

2007-09-10T12:15:00.001-07:00

Mike's cat
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 7 - 3-30-07

Leg 1 of my 4 month journey is now complete (as I continue to tell the story months later). We meandered for seven days from San Diego to the town of Darrington, Washington, which was my home for many years.

Mike, a family friend, was our host while we rested and re-grouped for the next leg of the journey to begin several days later. Thanks, Mike! Mike normally lives alone with his cool cat whatz-his-name. Really....I can't remember the cat's name. It was something original, like "Kitty" or "Whiskers"...

Cat was very relaxed, and wise beyond his years. You can see it in the eyes.

green eye
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Greener Pastures

2007-09-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

Take a walk over to my GREEN blog to see my new green shoes.

Just for you, CatWoman! :)

Westwynd Motel

2007-09-08T11:51:00.001-07:00

Westwynd Motel
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 6 cont'd

I wanted to stay at the Westwynd because I had met the manager online and was interested in learning more about her plans to help troubled teens. I was also attracted to this motel because I like Westwynd's pet policy.

The motel room was huge. I was told that the rooms were formerly apartments, but the owner realized that both he and visitors would benefit more by turning the apartments in motel rooms at a really reasonable rate. No price gouging here! For under $90 you can get a large, clean 2 bedroom with total sleeping space for eight people (2 in each bedroom and 4 in living with the pull out seating). Oh...and a full kitchen, too!

It turned out that the manager had suffered a recent personal tragedy (type unknown to me) and so we talked very little. I wish her well.

Gig Harbor

2007-09-08T11:38:00.001-07:00

Gig Harbor
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 6, cont'd 3-29-07

Before leaving San Diego, I had plans to spend a night in Gig Harbor, Washington. For one thing, it is one of my favorite tiny, picturesque towns. In springtime, the bird wall is active; and I love the smell of rotting seaweed dockside. Another reason was my wish to stay at the Westwynd Motel. See post above.

We arrived in Gig Harbor later than I would have liked, and struggled to find an affordable, yet tasty meal. We ended up splitting a pitiful sausage sandwich from Spiro's Pizza on Harborview Drive. The bread was nasty mush and I had a hard time finding the sausage. That after my generous tip, too! I had ordered to go and was too tired to complain. I vote Spiro's as the worst sandwich of my entire trip. If they had a website, I'd link to it just to warn others away.

Busy

2007-09-06T19:25:00.000-07:00

Sorry, folks. Been busy cutting 6" off my hair, and campaigning for Kucinich, and sorting paperwork, and shopping for green shoes, and so forth and so on. I'll continue my cross-country posting and other more current happenings soon.

Meanwhile, the good news is that Lee V is OK in Belize. Phew! Paradise is hopping, lately! :) So glad you are all OK.

Speaking of real life happenings, (warning: graphic disturbing images ahead) I can always depend on Stan to tell it like it is. Situation - critical. Act now.

Soylent Green

2007-09-02T16:12:00.000-07:00

I just finished re-watching the classic sci-fi horror movie, Soylent Green.

Last lines of the movie:

"Soylent Green is people! We got to stop 'em.....somehow."

Stomping Grapes

2007-09-02T16:09:00.001-07:00

Stomping Grapes
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Yesterday, my sons took me on a surprise trip to a vineyard near Julian, California. Although I am not a wine drinker, I had mentioned to my sons some months ago that stomping grapes was on my list of things-to-do someday. So off we went in the blistering heat.

The guys didn't tell me ahead of time where we were going or what we would be doing, so I had my best pair of shorts on. It took awhile before I was willing to risk getting in the vat, as I didn't want to ruin my shorts. Eventually, my desire to stomp outweighed my concern for clothing, so I rolled the shorts as far up my plump white legs as I could.

It was good fun. Got some grapes you want stomped?....give me a ring.

Columbia River Bridge

2007-08-29T18:35:00.001-07:00

Columbia River bridge
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 6 cont'd:
If it weren't for cell phones, we would have lost each other on the road at this point. JD was following me over the bridge. En route, I changed my mind about which way to turn after we got across the river. When I crossed the river and stopped at the light, I motioned to the driver behind me (thinking it was still JD) to turn right....but the blinker stayed on "LEFT". I waved my hands at him wildly....and then realized it wasn't JD. I was amazed. Where did he go? Turns out, he crosses bridges v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y. I hope the stranger behind me at the light got a good laugh. I sure did.

Oregon coast

2007-08-29T18:20:00.001-07:00

Oregon coast
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 6 - Thurs 3-29-07
On the road early, we stop for one last look at Oregon's scenic coastline.

View from Room

2007-08-28T20:38:00.001-07:00

view from room
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

...in Garibaldi, Oregon, at the end of Day 5 (3-28-07)

This is the only picture I took this day, even though the Oregon coast is stunningly beautiful.

The black line in the picture is a train track, and so I fully expected to have a rude awakening sometime in the night. I was wrong. There was not a sound and I slept well.

Beach Graffiti

2007-08-28T20:25:00.001-07:00

signature rocks
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 4 cont'd:
Rocks were decorated and placed at the bottom of a lighthouse-type structure near our hotel. You can see the fake lighthouse in the background of my picture below.

Some were sweet, others were goofy, and all the rock-art was fun.

at the beach

2007-08-26T17:46:00.001-07:00

at the beach
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

edit
bleep blip blip scratch
\edit

What about you?

Oregon Coast

2007-08-26T16:22:00.001-07:00

JD
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 4 - 3-27-07
My journal notes say "windy, rainy, cold"...and my memory concurs.

Chains on my tires were required to drive to Weaverville, which was the ONLY stop I had hoped to make on this northbound trip. Never mind, then. By 2 PM we were still trying to get to Oregon. It was Sooooo windy, and I was surprised to see a couple of RV's on the road. Huh? What were they thinking??

Cozy

2007-08-25T07:02:00.001-07:00

(the last of Day 3)

redwood housing
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

In real estate terms, this place is "cozy". I took a teeny tiny spiral staircase to get to the 2nd floor.

Back on the road...a storm is reaching the coast. We arrive in Fortuna, California, just before the downpour. This particular storm made news for days as it caused havoc all across the country.

Shrine Tree

2007-08-25T06:47:00.001-07:00

Shrine Tree
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 3 Cont'd:
Further down the road is another drive-thru tree. Actually, it is the solid mass of the whole redwoods that take the breath away, but my photos always fall short of capturing their superior nature.

Part of our drive was along the route described in this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXotDrPcYBU
-----------------------------
Myers Flat, California
Tree Height: 275 feet
diameter: 21 feet
circumference: 64 feet
age: 5000 years

Mighty Redwoods

2007-08-25T06:34:00.001-07:00

Chandelier Tree
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 3 Continued (3-26-07):
By noon we get started on the scenic Redwood forests on Hwy 101 past Willits. JD got caught off guard with this shot. Normally he likes to pose dramatically, trying to look majestic like the trees.
-----------
Chandelier Treet in Leggett, California
Tree Height: 315 feet
diameter: 21 feet
maximum age: 2400 years

OM

2007-08-20T18:02:00.001-07:00

OM
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

This photo typifies one of the pleasures of driving off the beaten path.

Bisquits and Gravy

2007-08-20T17:57:00.001-07:00

Bisquits and Gravy
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 3 continued:
After coffee, we found a traditional restaurant in Redwood Valley where JD gets one of his favorites: bisquits and gravy. I don't understand the attraction to fat-filled gravy slopped on soon-to-be soggy bisquits; but then again, every other year or so I get the strong urge to eat thick slabs of liverwurst with raw onions and extra-hot mustard on rye (of course). No accounting for taste....

After breakfast, JD and I (in our two separate cars) perform a classic Keystone cops routine at the intersection of Hwy 101 and Hwy 20 in California. Regret: I wish I had gotten out of my car and run around both my bumpers, screaming loudly with hair flying, before resuming travel. (sigh)

JD wants to stop for gas AGAIN. This is when I become a snit. He prefers to refill every quarter tankload (or maybe that's his excuse to grab another soda). I prefer not to go below half-tank with my 50 MPG VW Golf. My 2nd husband seemed to prefer to get gas only when the warning light lit up on the dashboard. Come to think of it, he did the same with our pellet supply with heating which was our only source of heat. moving on to next post....

A Couple Hundred More Miles....

2007-08-20T17:24:00.000-07:00

Coffee House
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

...and wadda ya get? Another day older while being a snit.
Day 3 = Mon 3-26-07
The day started out good enough. I insisted on stopping in Nice, CA, for a good cup of coffee. The stop was a highlight of the entire trip. The owner of the coffeehouse was a kindred spirit; and the town wasn't called "Nice" for nothing. There was even a three-legged local dog who meandered across the main street as if he owned the place (and he probably did).

Allen Ginsberg

2007-08-19T19:50:00.000-07:00

I spent a good part of this weekend watching "The Life and Times of Allen Ginsberg" and was deeply touched. Kurt Vonnegut's tribute to Allen Ginsberg voices my own feelings when he says:

"Allen was inducted [into the American Institute of Arts and Letters] nominally as a poet, but had in fact become world-famous for the radiant love and innocence of his person, from head to toe."

As I continue the struggle to stretch past my shyness and inhibitions, Ginsberg gives me a new surge of hope that all is not yet lost. As so this morning, I let my hair down and put on a wild print to venture out into the world a bit less inconspicuous than I might normally appear. It may not sound like much to you...but to me it's a healthy stretch towards the sunlight; and I have lived in the shadows my whole life. Thank you, Allen.

sunset in Clearlake CA

2007-08-19T18:30:00.001-07:00

sunset in Clearlake CA
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 2 = Sun 3-25-07
The day got off to a bad start when I discovered that JD had requested a 6:30 AM wake-up call. Huh!!?? Why we need a wake-up call when all we're doing is meandering northward is beyond me. We have no deadlines!

Returning to my car after breakfast, I notice a station wagon with the rear gate open. The car is packed almost as tightly as mine, and includes 2 very large dogs staring at a small baby laid out on the wagon's tailgate. A young man is holding tiny feet up in the air, exposing the baby's bare bottom. Time is standing still. Nothing is happening. A young woman is standing to the man's left. Finally, she says (loudly and firmly)....."OK...Do you want me to show you how to do this?"
hahaha

It's a long day on the interstate. I want to make it past Sacramento before we return to back roads. The wind is picking up, and JD's car has trouble staying in its own lane. Is it the overloaded car+wind?....or the driver? I guess we'll never know.

Sacramento is one of my least favorite cities to drive through. The congestion just never seems to end, but it helped that this day was a Sunday. Finally, we land in Clearlake, California, in time to witness a lovely sunset from our room overlooking the Little League field.
Day 2 totalled 370 miles.

Rolling Along

2007-08-18T16:42:00.001-07:00

nondescript lodging
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 1 continued:
The tiring afternoon was spent speeding through the Mohave Desert and then trying to see a train navigate the Tehachapi Loop. We just missed that event, but enjoyed the country-road detour to see this historical site.

After Tehachapi, we continued westward towards I-5 so we could find a room for the nite. On the way, I experienced one of the most beautiful drives I've ever had. It was on 223 West (off Hwy 58 to Alvin in southern California). The rolling green hills were seemingly untouched by manmade objects. The setting sun was highlighting a profusion of purple flowers which had exploded in large patches throughout the region. The place was very hobbitesque. The route is a superb back-road drive, especially in early Spring.

Drive time ends with the usual highway robbery of a pricey and bland (but convenient) room. Dinner was fast food...also bland. (sigh) We managed 295 miles on our first day out.

voted best sandwich

2007-08-18T16:39:00.001-07:00

voted best sandwich
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

During 4 months of cross-country travel, the Valley Hungarian Sausage & Meat Co. in Littlerock, California, made the best sandwiches. period.

Grandmom would have loved the place. She was Hungarian, and was very fond of headcheese. Maybe this winter I will drive out there for another sandwich (but NOT headcheese). I'm learning to avoid the desert in summer (duh!). Greg's birthday this fall would be a suitable excuse to drive 3 hours one-way for a sandwich!

Lunch in Littlerock

2007-08-18T16:37:00.001-07:00

little piggy
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Still on Day 1:
By mid-day, we are off the interstate and in the desert. By chance, we see the sign for a deli on Hwy 138. With our trusty cellphones, JD and I decide to stop for lunch and negotiate one of countless U-turns to backtrack.

lots of little lizards

2007-08-17T15:43:00.001-07:00

lots of little lizards
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 1 continued:
In spite of my anxiety about time and goals (see previous post), I was determined on this trip to learn to allow myself the luxury of enjoying life's gifts.

At this first stop in Rainbow, I noticed one of my favorite things: piles of odd bits of metal in various stages of decay (old doorknobs, in this picture). As a bonus, the place was filled with quick-footed lizards.

contemplating outhouses

2007-08-17T15:34:00.001-07:00

contemplating outhouses
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

Day 1 = 3-24-07:
I don't know if this was a working outhouse or not; but I was on my way to experience rural living at its finest. This was my 1st day on the road from California to North Carolina (via Washington State). I was still in a bit of shock about my intended plan to "rough it". Picture was taken at the Rainbow exit just south of Temecula, California.

I'm no stranger to outhouses, and they don't bother me. Lack of privacy and lack of toilet paper, on the other hand, would be big problems!

At this point, I'm also wondering what I've gotten myself into. JD purchased a used car shortly before our departure. It, also, is packed to the hilt and seems to sway dangerously back and forth with the slightest side wind. On the plus side, he is an adventurous traveler with few worries. On the minus side, he stops frequently for refreshments, bathroom, places of interest, stretch of legs, etc etc etc; while I look at my odometer and wonder if we will manage more than 200 miles this day.

When this picture was taken, it is 9:30 AM on our first day of travel. We are about 40 miles away from departure!

Packed and Stacked

2007-08-17T15:13:00.001-07:00

maxed
Originally uploaded by sand dragon

I think I've gotten somewhat proficient at packing over the years. It helps to come from a traveling family. This picture was taken at the start of a very long (about 4 months) cross country trip from California, up to Washington State, and eastbound to North Carolina where I intended to stay until October working as a wwoofer at an herb farm.

Things didn't happen as planned. (Do they ever?!) When I get to that part of the story, I will tell all. My return trip to San Diego (aka home) followed a similar, but more northerly route and again included Washington State. The primary difference between going and coming was that I stayed in hotels along the interstate eastbound, but camped and traveled all back roads on my return. Another primary difference between the two cross-country trips was that I invited ex#1 (I'll call him JD from here on) to join me eastbound. (He flew back from Kentucky); but I camped alone going home. My return trip was waaaayyyy more fun!!

I'm now back in San Diego with plenty of photos and stories to share. I kept a journal. Day 1 on the road was Saturday, March 24th, 2007. I'm not the same person now that I was then. Now that I have access to my own computer once again, I hope you enjoy my story as it unfolds in this blog over the next several weeks.

Homeagain Homeagain Jiggity Jig

2007-06-29T19:40:00.000-07:00

Has it really been early May since my last post?!! I've put 17,000 miles on my car since late April. Do I have stories...or what?!!

Soooo happy to be back in my friendly-familiar towncity of San Diego. Although people are basically the same everywhere, SanD fits me. I'm home again.

So. Where were we? I must say, I did not have a notebook (aka laptop) with me for this adventurous jaunt. I had hoped to log my travels via internet cafes, but heard far too many times that the cafe computer was broken, but "we have wifi"!!...(insert friendly smile)(sigh). I'm a desktop full-keyboard kinda gal. Oh, well.

I'll have to fill y'all in on my meanderings after-the-fact...but not today. Today's post contains generalities aka summaries, and most-of-all...thank you's for those who expressed well wishes along the way. To those of you who emailed me or left a comment on this blog, I am deeply grateful for your kind thoughts. You have given me energy and love when most needed. Thanks!!!

In general, I've learned (or re-learned):

* It was more about the journey than the destination. Really.

* People are the same everywhere. That being said, some places are more pleasant than others. I suppose if I lived in Kansas, I'd be grumpy too. (more on this in later journals)

* Wyoming is beautiful in mid-Spring. You have a 3-week window. Laramie, Yes. Rawlings, NO

* I got strong reactions about being a women camping alone cross-country. Reaction #1 was primarily (but not exclusively) from women: "WOW...good for you!!". Reaction #2 was primarily (but not exclusively) from men. Ummmmm. Best way to describe #2 (pun intended) is to say if you have ever read "Black Like Me" that's the feeling I got. I'm guessing there were some who ASS-UMED that a women camping alone is either a dyke (dike?) or a whore. I don't claim to be either, but even if I were......SO WHAT? My patience is worn thread-bare with the better-than-thou crap.

Moving on.

* I lay prone for hours on a floating dock while watching white pelicans with 9-foot wingspans soar over the Snake River; and saw waterfalls explode midway down from cliff's edge as H2O traveled thru leaky lava tubes.

* I went cave exploring (spelunking-sp?) and then shut off all my lights to experience total darkness (and...yes...I scared myself!) I squeezed thru narrow passages, slipped on wet footpaths, and saw a bat fly over my head upon my exit. I guess I scared the poor thing. I shouted "INCOMING" to others, with no response. :)

* I discovered that the young WOOFERS at the herb garden where better cooks than I. Thanks to their inspiration, I will re-teach myself and encourage others to eat healthier. Hey...Badger!...I made fruit/nut Irish soda bread today!! Love ya...you're the best. And Josh...I'll treasure my 4-leaf clover bouquet forever!! I love you both. Contact me any time for whatever reason. HUGS!

* I experienced an intimate moment of the passing of a cold front. (real time; nature; not TV simulated...you get the picture). Birds heralded the event. More on this later but I bring it up now 'cause it was really special.

* I purchased an inkle weaving loom from a long-lost childhood friend who also gave me free weaving lessons at her beautiful yarn store (pictures at later posting). I recall pre-teen days with this gal laughing and playing with the world as we saw it to be. What a joy to meet her again after all these years. Thank you, Pam, and thans to MySpace for connecting us.

* I witnessed sunrises and sunets and felt familiar white sand between my toes; and came eye-to-eye with crabs I at first thought were dead until I saw their eyes twitch within the seaweed clumps.

* I slogged in muddy riverbanks and wondered about Spring-nesting alligators and river levels low enough to leave boat docks stranded in mid-air.

* In the wild I saw: bats, coyotes, prairie dogs, racoon, owls, alligator, moose (3), antelope (including a stampede I unintentionally started), and a guy I dubbed "TEX with the BIG BIG pond". Trust me...he was wild.

* I traveled on roads where others waved at passers by...not because they were particularly friendly I suspect, but because they EXPECTED to know me!! Hello!!! Backroads, USA.

* I saw a black women whose red hat could have easily held a dozen fresh pineapple in it's rim. I regret missing getting that picture. She was fishing for bass; and I was avoding a State Park parking fee.... never mind.

* I heard and saw angried and hurried peoples of all descriptions. If you think you might be one of these types, I ask: It it worth it? (PS..FU to those who terrorize others with gas-guzzling monster vehicles and weaving driver habits risking us all. It appears to me it is not safe nor possible to travel AT speed limits in this country. Safe driving requires ABOVE speed limit travel. My routine is to travel at 5 ABOVE speed limit (except in Georgia). Apparently, that is not good enough. Someone somewhere will still spit on you and run you down like some low-down criminal. Road rage is out of control.

* I almost died in Salt Lake City and dreamt about the event (as is my gift/curse habit) beforehand. Ask me.

* And last, but not least, I participated in a peaceful no-contest divorce and now have a new last name.

I loved and I lived.
Was it worth it? Hell, yes.

Be well, folks.
When I get settled again in San Diego (in late August or early September?) I'll document my travels properly with pics and detailed stories. I have agreed to fly to Florida (cross country once again) to help a friend start a new business. More later.

All my love, w/a reminder to all: love yourselves; forgive yourselves (for whatever) and if forgiving yourself proves difficult, try to get to a zoo and watch the monkeys be monkeys. Therapy doesn't have to be expensive.

Abort Mission !

2007-05-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

I lasted 2 weeks at Mtn Gardens.
People were great; but I had a series of concerns causing my about-face.
I'm now in Cherokee, North Carolina, and heading south to Florida to see my folks before traveling westbound homeward.

This time, I'm camping my way across.

Will tell more when I get my own computer back. stop. have tons pictures. stop. all is well. stop. over & out.
Love to all.

WA2NC

2007-04-28T11:41:00.000-07:00

got to NC last week.
group at gardens are super.
learning how to cook healthier; all from scratch.
getting lessons on herbs daily.

good news! my cabin has running water and electricity and a wood stove.
I bought myself a hammock and am snug as a bug in a rug.

I'm bruised. banged head into low doorway; hip into corner of table; and fell out of my cabin once and bruised my arm. Otherwise OK. Japanese gal fared worse when she fell off the vine swing to the forest floor some 12+ feet below. She busted 7 bones in her foot and will now need to go back home in the next day or 2 for operation.

Must go. I'm working on a plan to update this blog regularly throughout this experience with pictures. Where there's a will there's a way.
Hugs to all. Thanks for thinking of me.

CA2WA

2007-04-02T09:48:00.000-07:00

quickie travel update:
Took 6 nites and 7 days travel San Diego to north of Seattle.
Used back roads as much as possible.
I have no travel horror stories to report.

Mostly, I wanted to stop at every scenic outlook along Hwy 101 thru Oregon, but resisted the temptation. Wildlife viewing was limited to elk and seagulls.

Will hit the road again thurs Apr 5th. Pictures will have to wait.
Love to all,
Deb

When In

2007-03-19T20:08:00.000-07:00

When in the ocean,
act as the protozoa do.

Once Upon A Time

2007-03-19T18:43:00.000-07:00

Once a upon a time
a child, barely three
went to visit a great ocean
with her family.

The day was full of promise.
She ran and laughed,
and watched a wavelet
crawl over her toes
with delight.

She inhaled the sweet sticky air
and knew the birds overhead
shared same.

She felt the grit of the sand
on her tender skin
and understood instinctively
all was as it should be.

She grew drowsy
in spite of her insatiable curiosity
and collapsed on a blanket
holding hands
with a dear tiny friend.

Unbound by shame or guilt;
free of worry or time,
and able to soar
within and beyond the moment
to places as natural as just witnessed,
the child came to know
the depths of friendship.

As so it was that this child
later faced
the cruel, suffering world
wondering...

Did the others
ever have
or fail to remember
such a perfect day?

Mt. Mitchell's Peak or Bust

2007-03-01T15:46:00.000-08:00

Headline reads: New Adventure Awaits Intrepid Deb

I'm scrambling to get ready to go. So much to do...
and I'm sorry to say that my necklace project is on indefinite hold.

I will be journaling my adventures and hope to get online maybe once every other week or so from an internet cafe in the area.

Picture time!! I will be an hour's drive from here.
and here
two hours from here
and so on

I'll do my best to keep y'all informed. :)

Rebirth

2007-02-27T20:46:00.000-08:00

If the garden of Eden really exits
it does so moment by moment,
fragmented and tough,
cropping up like a fan of buddleia
high up in the gutter of a deserted warehouse,

or in a heap
of frozen cabbages
becoming luminous in the reflected light of roadside snow.

- Helen Dumore, The Raw Garden

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have applied for an apprenticeship at a botanical garden.

Did you know my name translates to "bee"? I've always wanted to try beekeeping because I'm not afraid of them. Maybe I will get my chance to live a *whole* life in this lifetime. There are so many natural things I wish to explore and learn. Wish me luck!

Woven Belt

2007-02-26T08:40:00.000-08:00

I wove this belt last fall. It was my first attempt at using the Taaniko method of loomless weaving as practiced by the Maori of New Zealand. I had fun selecting shells for the finished look.

The necklace I promised to show Cat Women sooooon also includes Taaniko weaving.

staining sponges

2007-02-24T16:25:00.001-08:00

staining sponges
Originally uploaded by sand dragon.

Just so you know I haven't been a total slacker lately:

I've been staining slices of sponge in tea tinged with black walnut extract for a funky necklace I'm making.

desert bubble

2007-02-24T15:25:00.001-08:00

desert bubble
Originally uploaded by sand dragon.

If you look closely...that's me in the bubble.

At the museum the other day, I wanted to show other adults that IT IS OK TO PLAY. You will be happy to know that I did not keep the younger children waiting.

snow fun

2007-02-19T14:43:00.001-08:00

snow fun
Originally uploaded by sand dragon.

Hey Greg! Having fun in Europe...?
Love,
Mom

PS - Greg is 20 yrs old now, and got his love of snow in Washington State.

Fenced In

2007-02-19T08:44:00.001-08:00

Fenced In
Originally uploaded by sand dragon.

Acid Zen Wonder Paint

2007-02-13T16:43:00.000-08:00

Rub Your Poop On It .......enjoy!!

Destiny

2007-02-12T20:45:00.000-08:00

Peter of Dodosville, a new reader at Limb, asked me to both define and describe destiny. I enjoy a challenge! Thanks for asking, Peter.

I would define destiny as...
...future events that have a greater than average chance of taking place due to our karmic patterns.

Here's what the dictionary says:
1.something that is to happen or has happened to a particular person or thing; lot or fortune.
2.the predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events.

I'd say the #2 definition matches mine pretty closely.

Destiny is not something I can recall ever questioning. I still question how it works, but not whether it exists. I think this is because I've always been an excellent dreamer, and sometimes the future leaks thru the mesh barrier between subconscience and conscience. Most of my dreams are fantasy, but occasionally I get the real deal and I can usually tell the difference. Early in my life, when future events played out as shown previously in my dreams, I had all the proof I needed. Paradoxically (and life is full of 'em) I also believe strongly in free will and the power of our own minds. Obviously, I don't view my two belief systems to be in conflict at all. How can this be?

One thing my brain very much likes to do is to create picture stories to explain concepts. Over the years, I have developed a visualization regarding myself, the future, and destiny.

Imagine yourself in a huge swimming pool. You have started at the shallow end (birth) and have been swimming for what seems to be a long time, but there is still plenty of water ahead of you before you get to the other end (death). The water (life) supports you, and you notice there are many other things and beings in the water with you. But there are also things in the water that you can't see...things too small or too fast or too unimaginable. Everything in the pool with you is affected by your movements, and vice versa. Destiny is in the pool with you, too. The destiny bits are like flecks of dust. They are everywhere. As you swim, some of the destiny bits are forced away from your body by your sense of purpose. Others, simultaneously, are following currents caused by motion (yours or other living things) so that they end up directly in your path...seemingly unavoidable. The possible interactions are endless, but not necessarily random. The destiny bits can be avoided, if you see them...but not always. With practice, you begin to see the destiny flecks immediately in front of you. You can chose to avoid them, or not. With lots of practice you see destiny at greater and greater distances in front of you, especially when the bits are more like crackers! (Watch out for those!)

Which brings to mind the Titanic. Did the super-hype promotion of the Titanic being "unsinkable" start a karmic reaction bringing the fatal iceberg into line with the doomed Titanic at a particular moment in time? Here's a link about premonitions of disaster. Premonitions are glimpses of destiny. It is interesting to me that disasters, injuries, trauma & drama are more likely than other events to be "seen" ahead of time. I think premonitions are survival skills which many willfully push away mistakenly thinking that we have to chose between destiny and the power of free will. Far from it! Those who foresaw the destiny of the Titanic didn't get on the ship, or took extreme precautions once on board (which may or may not have saved them).

Obviously, we can't avoid all the stuff we create with our own actions in the pool of life, nor would we want to! Our loves and joys are tied to destiny as well. Our intent strongly affects destiny. And I've noticed that I'm always in a relaxed good mood *before* I get a run of good luck with the dice or cards.

We can tread lightly, pay attention, and keep an open mind. If you want to practice seeing destiny before it hits you in the face, I recommend meditation and dream yoga. There are probably thousands of other ways to strengthen abilities in this realm.

By the way, while you are swimming in that pool, aren't you connected molecule-to-molecule to every speck of karmic dust right from the "start"? Remember all the other stuff in the pool stirring things up? It's a mine field of karmic destiny (karmestiny).

What Purpose?

2007-02-12T14:11:00.000-08:00

Sons and daughters
you needn't be strong to withstand
the coming hardships.

Instead,
remain vulnerable,
willing and helpful.
Truthfully observe
your every move,
thought, and
whisper.

and ask
What purpose does this serve?
Take a long look at the things
that disgust you.
What purpose does this serve?
Why do you flinch,
revolt, spew anger,
and strike out at the innocent.

You are a mere human
yes
but deeper and deeper
there is more.
What purpose does this serve?

And when you finally
know yourself
you will know others
because we are one.

Be kind.
2-u-2

Karmestiny

2007-02-12T11:10:00.000-08:00

Maybe karma and destiny work together like ying and yang.

Albino Squirrels

2007-02-11T14:07:00.000-08:00

Long ago, there was a semi-tame albino squirrel who frequented the campgrounds of Juniper Springs, Florida. We had peanuts for him, and with patience he would take the peanut from an outstretched hand. In those days, before I became a slave to the office, I had a great deal of patience, especially with animals. One day when I was feeding the white squirrel, he ran up my arm and sat on my shoulder. I was so pleased.

Not far from Juniper, I had another notable squirrel experience on a camping trip. My sister and I had had a rough night which ended with chunks of skin clawed out of my forearms because, apparently, I was on her side of the mattress (asleep). When daylight broke, I got far enough away from the campsite that I wouldn't have to listen to her voice, or my parents, or anyone else. I was angry and hurt as I sat down to pout. I noticed a squirrel in the huge Live Oak tree I sat beneath. No...wait...not one squirrel but several, many, dozens...all leaping and chasing and playing. The entire tree was alive with squirrels. Perhaps their activity was a prelude to mating, but I never saw any pause long enough to mate.

The whole vision was beautiful. The oak tree was massive with well-balanced limbs. The squirrels knew every inch of the tree. The entire tree was in motion at all times. If I stopped focusing on individual squirrels, I could see the whole tree come alive, like looking just to the side of a star in the skys to see it. I was spellbound. To this day, it is still one of the most beautiful natural sights I have ever witnessed, and I've seen quite a few!!

Albino Squirrel Preservation Society

A Visit to Vinnie's

2007-02-10T19:22:00.000-08:00

I'm talking about

Vinnie's Tampon Cases

check out the free sticker offer! LOL

Memory

2007-02-10T09:55:00.000-08:00

My earliest childhood memory is from age two. My parents were renting a house on a large farm in New Jersey. My sister would walk with me down the dirt lane next to the crops. My memory is:

I found and identified a single stalk of asparagus growing near the ditch.
I didn't know what it was called, but I knew it was edible
from observation at family meals.
I picked the asparagus and took it to my mother.
She told me she could not be bothered cooking one stalk of asparagus
for the family meal
and she threw it in the trash.

I cried.

Now here's the thing. My Mom thought I was crying because I didn't get my way, and that is a reasonable assumption, especially when dealing with two year olds.

But I remember how I felt,
which was
that I had picked a living thing
for no good reason
and there it was
lying in the trash
to rot
and it was my fault.
I had killed it needlessly;
The stalk was waste.

Do most children feel this way about all living things, but forget?
Did lessons in my past lives cause me to empathize strongly with plants?
Was I simply reacting to an already-established guilt-blame pattern?
Did I feel stupid for assuming an edible thing must be eaten if picked?
Why did this memory stick?
I felt traumatized.
I felt ashamed that I felt traumatized over such a "little thing".

Now look at our environment.

Spirituality

2007-02-04T11:05:00.000-08:00

Some days,
I think of spirituality as one of the 4 brain waves,
Anything but Beta.

Other days,
it's the relief I feel when all my socks match up
after the laundromat.

Blame

2007-02-02T17:07:00.000-08:00

While at the zoo, I crossed paths with parents pushing their toddler in a stroller. Suddenly, the toddler let out a mighty scream, as toddlers are prone to do sometimes. It became immediately obvious that the father had accidentally pushed the stroller into the curb while the child's feet were hanging below the footrest thereby bending/brusing the little feet somewhat.

Up to this point, no blame has exchanged....um....feet.

The father was embarrassed. The mother spoke first to the child (irritated voice)..."We TOLD you not to hang your feet over the edge. Now you see what happens."

I am happy to see that the (assumed) Mom is examining and rubbing the child's ankles. However, she is still ranting "Do you see?......Will you keep your feet up?.....Are you listening?"

I am dismayed that neither parent has set a proper example for the child by asking, "Are you alright? I'm sorry you got hurt. Let's put your feet back up here so that doesn't happen again. OK?"

What might a child learn throughout the years with blame-oriented parents?
* I wasn't paying attention. I got hurt. It was my fault. They told me over and over again not to do that, but I forgot. Maybe I'm stupid. They don't like me when I make mistakes. I'll try harder.....and harder...........and harder..........................

......but it is never good enough. Is it.

How is the kid going to enjoy the zoo if he is always thinking and watching his feet? The Dad has had many years to practice mindfulness. Maybe he should have been watching where he was pushing. Why didn't the Mom take her irritation out on the Dad? Why was she irritated at all? Why didn't Dad gently stop the Mom from her rant? And what was that giraffe looking at, anyway? ...the nerve of some animals...

Woof Woof

2007-02-01T20:01:00.000-08:00

bark

The Coffee Shop

2007-01-29T20:32:00.000-08:00

Today, I went to the coffee shop later than the norm. This has been happening more frequently lately, partly because I enjoy sitting and "talking" with Fred. Fred recently suffered his second stroke. His recovery is inspiring. He approaches his new life of re-learning with determination and gratitude. He knows.....today could be his last. His ability to embrace the moment makes for fascinating, albiet painfully slow, conversation.

If I arrive at the coffee shop at my usual time, I am generally leaving as Fred is arriving. But I linger...sitting with Fred and asking him questions, which forces him to practice his speech and handwriting skills. Sometimes when I don't understand his speech, he takes out his pen and paper and writes his thoughts. Two words could take five minutes, during which he laughs, frowns, raises his eyebrows, and apologizes needlessly. The whole process of conversation with Fred takes a patience I didn't know I possessed. I have apparently relaxed considerably since my office cubicle days of just seven short months ago. I help Fred with his speech; and Fred helps me with my patience. It's a rewarding experience. Sometimes I walk in to find Fred staring forlornly at the floor. Perhaps he is just lost in thought.

Fred did not arrive today, in spite of my later arrival. Most of the faces were unfamiliar to me. So I sat down in a secluded corner and, after realizing I had forgotten to bring my book, picked up a newspaper. Then Paul showed up.

Paul started out saying he had once heard me talking with Fred. He said he had heard me talking about Route 66. He told me he used to hitch-hike Route 66. He shuffled restlessly back and forth. He told one short story about himself after another, each falling short of being finished. He invited himself to sit. "Please", I said, waving him into the chair across from me. He rambled on. I couldn't figure out why a man so eager to talk didn't know what he wanted to talk about. So I just listened.

Before too long, Paul began to talk about his kids....about one of his children in particular. He told me how his oldest son was born premature and weighing not much more than two pounds. He told me how that son began having seizures at age 11, and how his health had deteriorated. He choked on his words and wiped his tears with a well-used handkerchief. He told me how his son died and how he was there when the day came to unplug him from life support. His son died at age 16 in his father's arms.

As I listened, I realized my first instinct was to pull away. I wanted to look away and down...anywhere but at the face of the suffering man across from me. But I didn't. I looked, and I cared. He was not ashamed to tell his story of grief, and so I was not ashamed to listen. When he was done, he thanked me for listening and said it had helped. Paul will need to retell his grief again, and someone will listen again. And this is good. Paul said sometimes people tell him it is time for him to "get over it" and move on. But I wonder how it is even possible to place a time limit on such a thing. It is what it is. His process is purely personal. All that the rest of us can do is witness and know that we, too, shall know grief. We are one.

Fred told me he wants to see Key West before he dies. I think I will ask him tomorrow what is stopping him.

100 Things About Me

2007-01-29T18:38:00.000-08:00

1. I have many ways of defining myself. Philosophically, I'm currently an economad with Buddhist tendencies.

2. Usually, I prefer dogs to cats. A dull dog and bright cat could change that preference.

3. I had a blow-up inner tube slip (undergarment) when I was a kid. I cannot find either a picture or an article about this contraption!

4. I'm a deltiologist.

5. I love the smell of rotting seaweed (or is that salt air I smell?). No, it's the seaweed.

(5A - a freebee) I also love the smell of tomatoe leaves.

6. The recipe I am best at making is homemade ravioli (including making the egg noodles).

7. If I'm not in the mood to cook, you might want to have the fire department on standby because I get easily distracted.

8. I have always been able to bend my fingernails back and forth without damage.

9. I can type error-free faster than most (but who is counting).

10. My favorite color is blue...sky blue, to be specific.

11. I practice yoga. I'd like to say daily, but sometimes I hit a slump.

12. It is highly unlikely you will ever see me jogging or playing golf, except putt-putt golf which always causes me to double over with laughter.

13. Listening to crickets for hours on end is very relaxing for me.

14. I grew up in Florida but have never water skied.

15. Mahakala came to me in my dreams. The second night, I woke up screaming. I'm not sure what this means, but I feel honored anyway. Prior to the dreams, I knew nothing of him.

16. Oh, and I practice dream yoga, too.

17. I have three grown sons. They have enriched my life beyond words and I am incredibly fortunate to be their Mom.

18. I do not understand why some women scream during childbirth. I personally needed to conserve all available energy.

19. If I had testicles, I would give one to save tigers and the other to save polar bears...if it would help. At least, I think I would be willing to do that. We are talking about whole species here, right? I mean...how much could it hurt? wow. sorry. let's move on....

20. Severe weather fascinates me, and I desire to learn more weather science.

21. I'd like to take the "November course" at Kopan Monastery some year in the not-so-distant future. Want to go with me? (Kathmandu, Nepal)

22. I think I might have a mild case of "Central Auditory Processing Disorder", but I have no intention of seeking a diagnosis. I'm just glad CAPD wasn't invented when I was young, because someone somewhere likely would have over-medicated me.

23. Speaking of which, I don't drink and I don't smoke (been there, done that).

24. Africa is my favorite continent, perhaps because of Jean-Pierre Hallet, a gentle giant.

25. Margaret Mead is my hero.

26. I do all possible to eat organic.

27. I prefer to live near large bodies of water.

28. I think cows should be outlawed.

29. I realized the world was insane at age 7 when I was told to "duck and cover" under my desk for protection from being nuked during the Cuban Missile Crisis. It was bad enough to learn that nuclear bombs existed...but then to learn that duck-and-cover was the best protection adults could suggest...? insane

30. My favorite gem is lapis lazuli and tiger's eye is a close second, but strip mining for anything has got to stop.

31. I love to read. NOT on my reading list is westerns, romance novels, porn, tabloids, women's magazines, the bible, and anything by Anne Coulter and her kind.

32. I believe reincarnation is a definite possibility; and if that is so then there is a scientific basis for it.

33. I miss viewing a night sky without space junk or wondering if the "star" I'm admiring is really a satellite.

34. Owls are the cat's meow.

35. I'm primarily a landlubber but enjoy boating and small plane rides.

36. I avoid all amusement rides that post warning signs (such as: "If you have a heart condition, do not take this ride.")

37. I have bowled three games over 200 in my life. The remainder of my games were usually under 140.

38. The best friend I ever had was my bowling coach and I miss her.

39. I used to have a parakeet named Maestro and a turtle named Clem Kadiddlehopper.

40. I have an autographed photo of Red Skelton. I don't find him nearly as funny now as I did when I was a kid.

41. I have collected a large amount of shells through the years and wouldn't mind being a professional beach comber.

42. I'm a Putumayo music junkie. I avoid heavy metal and jazz, and like country in small doses only.

43. I have had two 14 year marriages. My hero, Margaret Mead, was divorced three times. Two is enough for me. Mead firmly stated, "I don't consider my marriages as failures. Its idiotic to assume that because a marriage ends, its failed."

44. I was raised Methodist, but evolved to be non-religious. I believe religions suffer greatly from the same diseases as governments, i.e. corruption and propaganda.

45. I don't dance, and I don't apologize for not dancing. I think my Methodist upbringing may have something to do with this, but by now my reluctance has evolved to phobia status. Oh, wait!! I can still do the twist!

46. I love the sound of rain on a tin roof.

47. I was in Canada when man first landed on the moon.

48. A well ripened mango is better than ice cream any day.

49. As a small child, I used to hold my breath until I passed out. I am told I can still be quite stubborn.

50. Growing vegetables myself from seed is highly rewarding.

51. I haven't worn makeup since my teens, and I have a long-winded list of reasons.

52. I taught myself to weave Maori style (loomless).

53. Walking barefoot makes me happy; and I have a flipflop tan.

54. My eyes glaze over when I walk into a bead shop.

55. I think of cars in one of two ways: Point A to Point B ---or--- MPG

56. I took out a 2nd mortgage to buy a diesel engine car which is now running on 99.9% biodiesel. Thank you.

57. I believe pointy narrow high-heeled shoes are best suited for people with pointy narrow minds.

58. My favorite toy is a kaleidoscope.

59. When it is absolutely necessary to buy clothes, I buy them from 2nd hand shops.

60. I avoid traveling on interstates whenever possible, especially here in California. (It's true what they say!)

61. Newton's 3rd law of motion essentially states that for every action force there is an equal but opposite reaction force. I believe this scientific law directly applies to karma as well; and I do not believe that religion is a necessary ingredient to understanding and believing in the concept of karma.

62. If I were to re-define the Holy Trinity concept of my brainwashed childhood, I would substitute Father-Son-HolyGhost for Science-Math-Art.

63. I now have 2 or 3 gray hairs!! I have never dyed my hair, for the same reasons I don't wear makeup.

64. I would like to learn origami...

65. ...and shadow puppetry...

66. ...and the art of indigenous and folklore story telling.

67. In theory, I would have been a good gypsy. In practice...who knows?

68. Almost all of my ancestors hail from New Jersey....and go waaaaaaaaaaayy back.

69. I'm a person of extremes. For example: It's city or country (not the burbs).

70. My hair has been long for many years, but I fantasize about shaving my head.

71. I believe there is a poet in everyone; and Buddha Nature in everyone, too (Mahayana interpretation).

72. If I were another type of animal, perhaps I would be a beaver. I have an endless need to make things with my hands, and an endless desire to plug leaks. (yeah, yeah...I know beavers don't have hands!)

73. I have hope that computers will help save us from ourselves.

74. I want to purchase some land and go off-grid.

75. Extreme isolation tempts me, but ultimately too much isolation is detrimental. I seek balance.

76. I am 95% vegetarian. I was a vegan for several months once and still aspire towards that goal. Raw foods and juicing interest me.

77. I have a birthmark located on the third eye. Because of this, some cultures would have killed me at birth, and others would have worshiped me. I have escaped both of these undesirable fates.

78. I'm convinced meditation is an extremely beneficial non-activity.

79. I consider myself a futurist, but don't know how to market my skills...nor do I want to.

80. Travel is one of my passions.

81. When I was three, I dropped a large can on my little toe and chopped half of it off. I am told it rolled behind the trash can. My remaining half-toe grew back....with nail. It's not the prettiest toe in the world, but things could have been a lot worse.

82. I believe that if more people would fly kites, there would be less war. :)

83. I used to stress-out about and argue over politics. Now I try to change the world simply by setting example. I've noticed that this is a much healthier and productive approach to life.

84. I might also define myself as pragmatic and socially challenged. The older I become, the more at ease I am in social situations.

85. One of my prize possessions is a singing bowl. I aspire someday to own, and know how to play, a complete set of seven.

86. Although I do not consider myself very materialistic, I can be a real packrat. I am particularly attracted to bits of metal and found objects and am loathe to toss away anything potentially useful. Again...I seek balance.

87. I think wall-to-wall carpets are a bad idea. They are too hard to clean, and tend to end up in landfills when worn.

88. I think the life of both Ran Prieur and Hobopoet are good examples of how the universe provides for those who follow their true nature. (It does not matter how long it takes to reach our goals; intent is everything.)

89. I have a couple of 2-yr college degrees (AA and AS) for office procedure. An additional two years was spent in college studying what I wanted rather than what someone else wanted or thought I should study.

90. I like looking at clock structures, but resist being enslaved by man-made time segments. Nevertheless, I prefer to be "on time" so as not to inconvenience others. sigh

91. Although not religious, I believe in prayer. Perhaps by prayer, I mean "positive thinking". And I think neutrinos may be carriers. (I just wanted to put that thought on record.)

92. I have a natural downward curve to my mouth which makes me look grumpy. I have smiled excessively since childhood to encourage smile wrinkles in my older years...to no avail. Me, my sister, my mother, and my grandmother all look like sour pusses. Oh, well.

93. One of my regrets is that I had all my wisdom teeth removed when I was about 45 years old. I should have known better.

94. For the most part, TV bores me. So I don't own one.

95. Top ten places I would like to visit:

Nepal
Belize
Thailand
Galapagos Island
Robinson Crusoe Island
Bhutan
Eritrea
Mustang (pronounced Moo-stang)
Mongolia
Borneo

96. I can't remember the last time I played a game of marbles. (note to self - add to list of things to do).

97. Being outside is energizing for me. On the other hand, I don't tolerate cold too well but believe I can work on this handicap with proper breathing techniques (pranayama).

98. I play a good game of cribbage.

99. My favorite online interactive map is here.

100. We are the creators of our own lives. Personally, I have trouble deciding which colors and brushes to use each day. Other than that, I am extremely grateful to have been given a canvas!

Ensenada

2007-01-22T16:58:00.000-08:00

My son, Greg, took me down to Ensenada, Baja, Mexico, last weekend. We did a lot of walking and took in the sights, sounds, and smells. Today is a low-energy day as I recuperate.

I purchased a solar shower and solar lighter recently. Those items arrived in the mail today. My survival kit is progressing.

Other than resting, today was spent reading a good portion of The Computer Nomad, a link suggested by Limb reader called Dreamer-of-the-day. It appears I've already taken a few key steps towards freeing myself from the apartment-box to office-box routine. For those of you who have yet to part with large amounts of material possessions, I can tell you that I hardly miss a thing and the whole process has been very beneficial. What to do next is still a mystery for me, but Computer Nomad has many helpful suggestions. Thanks for that great link, Dreamer.

Slave Wages

2007-01-19T15:54:00.000-08:00

Grandmom & Mom
circa 1940 sand dragon.

In her later years, my grandmother needed help with her shopping. My mother would take her to the grocery store once a week, and I sometimes tagged along. Invariably, my grandmother would pick an unfamiliar product off the shelves and read the ingredients. She would complain about the additives and put it back on the shelf, unless she couldn't find "her" brand. As it turned out, "her" brands were also cause for complaint. The prices kept going up. Sometimes the sticker price remained the same, but the package got smaller. Grandmom never failed to notice these things, and never failed to voice her complaint.

The weekly shopping excursion drove my mother a bit battier than the norm. [is "battier" a word?] Anyway, Mom would snap "Of course the price went up. Nothing ever stays the same. That's just the way it is."

Both women participated in this same verbal ritual for as long as I saw them together. In my younger years, I accepted the fact that prices do indeed continue to rise. Recently, I've noticed that I have begun to act more like dear old Grandmom as I look at the co-op shelves and shake my head with a troubled frown and a dejected feeling of resignation. Something just ain't right. Now, at first, I thought my changed attitude was because....well....I'm not getting any younger. I could hear my mother's voice in my head saying "That's just the way it is" and I would feel guilt about my unwillingness to accept things as they are.

Wait a minute. Maybe accepting things as they are has been programmed into us (me) just a tad too long. Maybe at some point the price tag will get ridiculously too big and those of us who are not glazed over by endless hours of TV programming will stand up and say "STOP IT". Of course, those of us who reach the indignation stage do so at different times and at different levels. Therefore, our pitiful cries of "foul" tend to go unheard.

Times are changing. Not so much in the matter-of-fact way my mother noted; but in a way that will at some point cause a groundswell of voices simultaneously shouting "FOUL".

If my wages had kept up with inflation, maybe I would still be chasing that worn-out American dream of being upwardly mobile with a secure retirement fund (sustainability being a whole other topic). I'm not talking about one year of falling behind through no fault of my own. I'm talking about several years. I'm talking about a system of often corrupt and/or compassionless CEO's who pay slave wages because they can....and do. (I know that sentence was redundant, but sometimes redundancy pleases me.)

I googled "slave wages" to see if I could find a good rant. Sure enough, it didn't take me long. In fact, I found a couple of good posts on the topic of slave wages. The first post points out a way that the Big Guys cheat the Little Guys out of some bucks in a sneaky condescending way. [I also note that the phrase Big/Little Guys might imply winners/losers in our big-is-better culture. That's interesting, because I tend to think the Little Guys are more likely to have kept their souls intact].

Where was I? Oh yeah, the second "slave wages" post I found paints a picture with a much broader stroke, and the subject is recreation fees on public lands.

The point I want to make is that we are getting squeezed and squeezed and squeezed and sooner or later it becomes impossible to stretch that penny any further. It's no secret that the middle class is disappearing. Guess which direction.

Sure...speak out, become an activist, write your senators, write editorials...all of that is good stuff. In my day-to-day life, I have been motivated to get creative and think outside the box before I'm forced by circumstance to go into unmanageable debt all the while daydreaming that I can somehow work myself out of debt with the low-end 9-5 slave wage.

So here I am...exploring options. In my previous post, Dreamer-of-the-Day suggested I diversify as I'm working towards self-sufficiency. I think I'll put up a survey along those lines on this blog soon-ish. One of my earlier plans when I first set myself free from the office cubicle was to show others how to be a modern day nomad, living as lightly as possible and ready on short notice to move to another location. I'm still in the process of lightening my load with material possessions, but I must admit that moving was a lot more involved than I remembered from years past. I'm starting to ramble, so I'm going to call it a day. Thanks for stopping by.
-------------------------------
word of the day from my dictionary of the vulgar tongue:

AMBASSADOR - A trick to duck some ignorant fellow or landsman, frequently played on board ships in the warm latitudes. It is thus managed: A large tub is filled with water, and two stools placed on each side of it. Over the whole is thrown a tarpaulin, or old sail; this is kept tight by two persons, who are to represent the kind and queen of a foreign country, and are seated on the stools. The person intended to be ducked plays the Ambassador, and after repeating a ridiculous speech dictated to him, is led in great form up to the throne, and seated between the king and queen, who rising suddenly as soon as he is seated, he falls backwards into the tub of water.

(man...the things people did to entertain themselves before high-tech toys!)

Flip Flop Tic Toc

2007-01-15T18:07:00.000-08:00

It's been six short months since my grand exit from Washington State where I left my dog, my home, my husband, and my job. Here's a brief analysis of how I've since spent my time in San Diego.

* July 2006 was entirely occupied with moving.

* August I began exploring the San Diego neighborhoods, and took a whirlwind trip to Arizona. To my amazement, I absolutely love that state...even in August!

* September I found my own apartment and was again preoccupied with moving and unpacking.

* October I dug into my craft studies, as planned. I explored various options; worked on learning software; taught myself Taaniko Maori loomless weaving; and tried to fix my printer problems.

* November was a continuation of October's efforts with Thanksgiving and Xmas shopping thrown in.

* December I registered my fictitious business name, Sand Dragon, with the county. Then I gave in to the holiday non-spirit, and my sails went listless. Oh...and I took a trip to Durango, Colorado, for the 1st time ever. Very nice.

And now it is January.
I'm lost...and angry. I feel trapped. And, no, I will not seek a therapist. I trust them as much as lawyers and I'm not tossing good money their way. period.

I compared several budget scenarios today. It is obvious to me that I will not be able to create enough hand-crafted products to pay the bills. And I cringe at the thought of wasting my good brain and healthy energies at some crappy, boring office job just to make rent. so....

I looked into going off-grid with a small RV. I did the budget estimates today. I might save a few hundred going off-grid, if I'm careful and have no major breakdowns. I thought the money saved would enable me to exist on craft work. However, the time spent on the inevitable learning curve those 1st few months off-grid would translate to very little time to craft. And...still...my savings would be slipping away while I fret. Also, one big set-back or lack of attention to detail, and my off-grid expenses match my current rental situation.

Last option is what I call the Ran Plan. (see link to Ran Prieur). Ditch the apartment and vehicle and all other luxuries, and that budget starts looking reasonable. So here are my current options as I see them:

* find an intentional community that isn't a cult and doesn't want all my worldly possessions and isn't religious or tyrannical or male dominated or just plain sick in some other undefined way; or...

* go back to conventional slave labor and sink into misery while I wait for the world-as-we-know-it to end; or...

* become voluntarily homeless thereby increasing my risks of insanity, victimization by violent crime, and/or institutional interference in my life in the form of forced drugging and forced brainwashing by gov and religious do-gooders.

What to do....what to do....the lady or the tigers.

Anybody want to buy a chunk of land in Central America and build straw bale houses with me?
sigh
I'm not insane; but I am feeling hopelessly lost right now. I haven't a clue and I need help.

Please tell me what you think...whatever that may be.

Untitled

2007-01-11T05:48:00.000-08:00

In that time before sleep
when the wall between conscious and sub thins,
my breath wearily rises
as would the gait of an elephant
who has traveled the dusty path
countless times before.

The fall is swift
and lands with a gentle thud
in the dry soil
stirring particles into the still air
swirling above the scene
higher still
until able to witness
the lumbering determination
of all such paths
into one.

White Chalk

2007-01-11T05:39:00.000-08:00

If our imaginery
pie-in-the-sky
great creator
were a sidewalk chalk artist,
some lives would be sketched
white chalk on white sidewalk.

Such lives would entail
the same joys and sorrows
as do the colorfuls;
but who would see?
who would know?
except for
the white-on-white soul
struggling
to remain
invisible
and
forever alone.

Yawn

2007-01-10T11:37:00.000-08:00

OMG, these night-time crickets are putting me to sleep. I've been listening for 3 hours already. For me, these are the most relaxing sounds I've heard in a long time.

Upper left corner of webpage.... Nkorho Stream

The thing I like about crickets is that a person can totally relax knowing the crickets will abruptly stop chirping when danger is near. I sleep deepest amongst crickets.

Best watering hole viewing times are dawn and dusk.
--------------------------------------------------------

In response to HBI - yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes

drunk...my ass

2007-01-10T05:24:00.000-08:00

meanwhile, in Australia...

Reports of birds dropping dead in people's yards around Esperance, on the southern coast of Western Australia, began to come in three weeks ago, well before last week's freak storm that caused devastating floods in the region.

The reports stopped this week as the skies became clear of birdlife.

The main casualties are wattle birds, yellow-throated miners, new holland honeyeaters and singing honeyeaters, although some dead crows, hawks and pigeons have also been found.

I've been watching the signposts of our pending collective demise for a long time, and this particularly signpost makes me want to sell the remainder of my belongings, jump into my veggie-oil casket called a car, and rush to see the remains of a world most take for granted.

Repeat: "...the skies became clear of birdlife."
How ominous is THAT???

The article continues:
"Authorities are asking people to bring more birds in the hope one may have enough food in its stomach to identify a common deadly toxin."

It appears to me that, in contrast to the Australian authority's quest for answers, the U.S. reaction is to suggest the birds drank themselves to death on fermented berries.

morons

If that were the case, birds would have been dropping dead in large numbers each and every year of years gone by. Probably more so, in years past, because there would have been more wild fermented berries to be had.

Why am I wasting my breath?

Our Earth...our environment...our livelihoods
and rest-time
dream time
caring-and-sharing
joy to be alive
love of Earth
is as respectful as
the way the men I have chosen
in days gone by
have treated me.

translation: woefully lacking

when I was alive

2007-01-10T05:16:00.000-08:00

When I was alive
I closed my eyes and filled my lungs
with the sweet thick salt air
while my tippty-toes maintained
the barest of connections
with Earth's rounded surface

Where were you?

2007-01-09T22:48:00.000-08:00

Where were you?
when the children cried
and the dog cowered
in the shadow of your anger.

Where were you?
as the floorboards rotted
under the lumpy mattress
of your past.

Where were you?
when the broken window
gazed back at me
for a decade of shattered silence.

Where were you?
I looked
but I failed to see.

Light

2007-01-09T22:47:00.000-08:00

It wouldn't be the first time
the Light of Reason failed to appear
just when I thought I needed it most.

and then
my thoughts withered
and the Light arose
from slumber