Out on the Limb

Let's face it, I'm lost; and I've been lost since I came up with the "sell everything" plan last March.

For those of you new here, I decided last March that selling the family home of 16 years and buying an RV equipped with solar panels, and using biodiesel for the truck, was the way to go.

It took us until September to get the house on the market (partly because we were waiting for last child to vacate his room).

But the closer I get to selling the house and going to next phase, the colder my feet get. Until, finally, I realized just how crazy my thinking has been.

Problem: My marriage is, and has been,...seriously lacking. Perhaps I thought the change would fix things. You know, change the situation and location and pretend the problems don't exist. Duh. I get crazy like that sometimes.

But, really, how could I possibly invest $100,000 in a truck and RV and all the equipment and then live with someone whom I may or may not need to dump (to put it bluntly). Will he read this? I seriously doubt it. Really. Seriously.

Anyway, I finally got up the courage yesterday to tell him flat out I would be nutzoid to get into an RV with him fulltime. AND, I've given fair warning that he needs to get help, find help, help himself....whatever it takes. Because there are certain things I'm just not going to put up with any more. The constant anger is just one of those things. And hygiene. Pleezzzzee, grow up and practice good hygiene. enough already.

SO, the house is no longer on the market as of today. Hubby is on notice. And I'm stepping back from the madness and taking a good long look at the multitude of positive possibilities I can create for my future.

Fortunately for me, I belong to a Yahoo group called InspireShare. The group owner, James, is a "Metaphysical Intuitive Counselor and Life Coach", and has recently begun adding daily suggestions for lost people like me.

About big decisions, James has this to say (with permission):

Many times, when we are faced with problems, challenges, confusing situations, our mind begins to ask dozens of questions. What am I going to do? Why is this happening?
What is really going on? What if?

The very act of asking questions regarding a situation are virtually a guarantee that you will create stress, worry, frustration and fear in your life.

Let go of the questions. Instead, affirm a positive outcome.
Example: I WILL know what to do.
It is bigger than me. I turn it over. Time out.
By clearing the mind of all questions and concerns, your inner self, your intuition will have
an uncluttered space to help you create the most powerful positive outcome.
Cluttered minds create cluttered outcomes.

As the Zen masters say, "The most important part of a bowl is it's empty space."
Empty the bowl of your mind.

I've blabbed enough for one night. I'm going to try to empty my bowl now.

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Picture credit: Imagesbyk2 There some really awesome pictures there. Thanks for sharing via Creative Commons.